Barron Hiltons Lump of Coal

Dear Tinkerbell,

SHIT! Shitshitshitshitshit! How can grandpa do this to me? I thought I was his “favorite princess”!?!? On what deranged plane of existence is it acceptable to bequeath the near entirety of one’s fortune to charity rather than to one’s supposed FAVORITE PRINCESS?! That old coot is sitting on 2.3 billion dollars and, in his venerable senility, has decided to donate 2.2 billion of it to charity. It’s almost laughable! Why?! Because of the DUIs? The drugs? The men? The jail time? The spending? The scandal? COME ON!! 2007 wasn’t THAT bad!!! Get over it, you old fart. Merry fucking Christmas.

Speaking of the proverbial lump of coal, can you believe Jamie Lynne Spears is knocked up? Just in time for the holidays too. I wonder what she’s promoting…a new show? I smell a reality hit here...Mama, Me and the Bastard Makes Three.



I don’t think her Momma is doing a very good job spinning this...if Joe Simpson were her father, you know we’d be reading something along the lines of how Jamie Lynn is reinventing the immaculate conception for her new album this Christmas season. Brilliant.

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