Oompa Loompas Make Great Purse Pets

Dear Tinkerbell,

So, did you hear the news? I am a total hero...and much hotter than any of the heroes on NBC (eat that, stupid cheerleader). I was chilling at Cameo for the Beacher's Madhouse show and everyone was getting pretty crazy. So, amidst all the pushing and shoving, an Oompa Loompa (you know...those orange midgets with the green hair) got shoved into the stage and cut his whole leg wide open! It wasn't that big of a cut but when your leg is only, like, 6 inches long, any size cut is a big deal. So, anyway, I totally saved his life. I hit Lindsay in the face with my new Fendi, told everyone to back the F up, put that little guy under my arm and ran him out to the sidewalk to wait for an ambulance...or cab. Ok, so hitting Lindsay in the face was more for me than for the Oompa Loompa but whatev.

So anyway, long story short, the little midge got stitches in his leg and is on the mend and the whole little tribe of them are so grateful that they've made me, like, their queen or something. All hail me, bitches.



Oompa Loompas are SO hot right now. If the Humane Society wasn't all up in my grill about having too many pets, I would totally keep him. Maybe I'll get Nicky one for Christmas!

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