Celebrity Injustice

Dear Tinkerbell,

Ugh. My poor brother. I feel so badly for him!!! Yet another celebrity to fall victim to the law. Haven't they handed out enough DUIs? Must they continue to persecute us?

You know what we need??? We need a president that will exonerate criminals base on celebrity status. Celebrities are an oft overlooked minority group who, despite all we give to the community, are often treated as...shudder...regular people! It's a travesty! An total injustice. It is our right, as celebrities, to receive special treatment. I will not stand for this any longer! Maybe I'll take a page out of Obama's book...YES WE CAN (RECEIVE SPECIAL TREATMENT)! Yes we can.

I need a cocktail. And a car.