Model Parent Orders Chinese Take-Out

Dear Tinkerbell,

Omg, I am SO upset…apparently, Britney is in the process of adopting a pair of Chinese twins! That was so MY idea!!! I totally picked up a couple of Chinese babies when I was in China for the MTV Style Awards last week but, unfortunately for me, the stupid airline wouldn’t let me check them and I was not about to put them in the overhead compartment (I wouldn’t want them to get jostled around too much). So I left them in the cab and fully intended to order a few online as soon as I got home…and then I find out that that fat, greasy, unhinged piece of trailer-trash has stolen my thunder!



I'm so hurt and confused. Why would she steal my idea? Maybe she's bored...or lonely...or maybe this is some sort of last ditch effort since that dark realization that her poonany is overexposed and has been subsequently blacklisted? And what is even more confusing is who would allow this to go down? Now, I have always been a fan of the Chinese. They have always been very kind to me, they give killer manicures and I owe half the running stitches in my wardrobe to their kids. But I really have to say that I find this all to be extremely appalling. I find it incredible that the Chinese government would ever willingly agree to give more babies to that coked-up mental patient when our government won’t even let her have her own!



Screw this. She is going down. Hmmm…maybe I’ll have my lawyer contact K-Fed to see if he’d let me adopt Sean Preston and Jayden James! That’ll teach that little deep fried celebutard to mess with me!

For those with PhotoCrank.

For the haters that don't.

Whatev.