Charity Schmarity

Dear Tinkerbell,

Ever since I decided to send Fake Paris off to Rwanda, I have been feeling like something is missing. I totally want to give back to society and make a difference and help the less fortunate or whatever...I just don't really want to actually be around the less fortunate, ya know? So, in a sudden burst of inspiration, I was hit with one of my best ideas to date. Drum roll please! I have decided to help the drunk elephants in India!!


As I mentioned to the World Entertainment News Network,

"The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them."

Ha...quoting yourself is sweet. Anyway, I figured I have a lot of experience with drunks and I'm really good at helping them. I mean, hello?!? Who was holding Lindsay's hair back at Hyde this weekend as she threw up those saltines I specifically advised her not to have for dinner!? You would have thought she would know by now that drinking on an empty stomach is way better than drinking on a full one. Anyway, after I heard about that entourage of elephants who got electrocuted after a rice beer bender in India, I decided to start my own Global Elephant Campaign.

For those with PhotoCrank.

For the haters that don't.

Unfortunately, my PR rep said I would have to actually go to India (ick) and do some photo ops with the big, smelly beasts (double ick). Ew. I won't even go near Rosie...do you really think I would go anywhere near something that resembles her? So, sadly, I think I'm going to find a new charity. Give it some thought, Tink.



Paris
xoxo